The Blessed Blog

News, photos and stories from St. John XXIII Catholic Church.

August 31, 2014 | The 23rd Times

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Life as Ministry w/ Robin Dysard

On this election day (last Tuesday), I skim the local news sites for information on the election taking place, and I’m reminded (by Rick Scott), that this election – like every other – is about jobs, and education… and half a dozen other buzzwords that mean nothing in the context they’re being used. The Naples Republican claims 620,000 jobs have been created during his time in office while 832,000 people lost their jobs during Democratic candidate former Gov. Charlie Crist’s tenure. This probably had nothing to do with the natural cycle of the recession that started less than a year after Crist took office, but that’s neither here nor there. The good news is that 620,000 people have new opportunities to make money, feed their families, give to their Church, and buy new Apple products, to avoid suffering the indignity of the iPhone 4S.

Watch the interview.

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Although the function of at least 99% of those jobs will not be addressing the spiritual needs of anyone nearby, each one is an opportunity to do some marginal evangelization.
I’d like to believe that God doesn’t much care what we do for a living (so long as it’s honest and decent), and so if we’re going to be engaged in an activity for 8+ hours per day, why don’t we do the Catholic Thing, and introduce people to Jesus. But is that the Catholic thing? Because most of the people we stumble across in life, the ones aggressively trying to evangelize us and make sure we’re saved, are Protestants (and Jehovah’s Witnesses, even more so). I’ve never been cornered at the Mall by a Catholic, and a priest has never arbitrarily knocked on my door for a visit, but maybe it’s time Catholics step up their game.

Let’s face it, everywhere we go, people are hurting. Whether we sell insurance, mow lawns, or do taxes, we’re dealing with people that could use more love in their lives. Robin Dysard happens to be a physical therapist. She works in home health, so she’s in and out people’s homes who are, by definition, homebound. Without a vibrant and active support system, homebound people suffer from loneliness, and with that, depression. These become the forgotten externalities of a health condition that may seem as mundane as, say, a broken hip. Robin finds small ways to show them her faith. She doesn’t “cram” religion down their throat. She doesn’t try to save them (or assume they need saving). She does the Catholic Thing. She treats them with love and respect, and when asked, she attributes her gentle way of being to her relationship with God. As a volunteer board member at Verity Pregnancy Center, she’s also leading a life of deliberate service to some of the most vulnerable people in society – the unborn. I sat down (we stood, really) with Robin Dysard and we talked about her journey in, away from, and back to the Catholic faith, and what she’s been up to in the mean time. These were some of her answers.

Damian: So you are a Catholic “revert”, and you also sit on the board of Verity – a crisis pregnancy center. Which one do you want to talk about first?
Robin Dysard: I think I’ll talk about being a Catholic revert. It’s a big part of my identity. I was raised Catholic, and I left when I was young because it didn’t really mean anything to me. I was just sitting in the pew, and that was probably a result of ineffective catechesis as a child. But later, I was actually evangelized by another Catholic (when coming back), and I never realized what I had left. I’d probably thought that Jesus founded the Protestant Church. I just had no idea. A lot of people are unaware of the writings of the founding Church Fathers, such as Ignatius of Antioch. It’s really an exciting thing – being a Catholic, and I love being a part of the Faith Education committee here.

DH: Yes, I do see your name in and around the Church… What is it you do in that role?
RD: I work with a team called Faith Alive, and we look at different programs to bring to the Church to educate adults. What I really love is the heart of the people on the committee. We just finished reading the book Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell, and in it, she explains that a lot of people are leaving the Catholic Church because their spiritual needs are not being met. They end up going to protestant churches which are a completely different atmosphere. They really concentrate on forming a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, so that’s what we’re working on right now.

DH: Well that’s their tagline, right? “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?” And a lot of Catholics are like you. Raised Catholic and maybe they fell away, but they’re back, and certainly they’ve been approached at the mall by these evangelizers. “Are you saved?” And you’ve got to think, I feel good today… maybe I have been? Tell me what that means – to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? Did you get that when you were in that community?
RD: I did, actually, but over time I lost that closeness I had when I first got “saved”, and that was probably my fault. But I still do believe that it’s very important for people to develop an active prayer life and work on a deeper relationship with God. So I’m really excited to help start a group like that, so we can meet the needs of people seeking a deeper relationship.

DH: Certainly there are lots of people that are in need of that, whether or not they pursue it is another story, but more so than in most places, this pregnancy center must serve people in that type of situation. We all know “the deal”, right? Those girls are scared, they’re confused, and they need resources of all types. Why do you choose to serve young women in those situations, rather than, say, the humane society?
RD: That’s a great question. I feel called to that because I have a personal experience related to that ministry, and I think most women are afraid to talk about it openly. There’s a lot of shame involved in crisis pregnancy, but we all need to know the love of God. All people make mistakes when they’re young, but Verity is there to help these women make the right choices and get truthful information – not the type of information they’d get at Planned Parenthood.

DH: So tell me what happens when a girl comes in?
RD: On the first visit they fill out forms and are interviewed, they will have a pregnancy test, and they will meet with a counselor. They may not necessarily have an ultrasound the first visit but if they are abortion vulnerable we try to get them to have an ultrasound that visit; seeing life makes a big difference in these women’s lives.

DH: Okay, so you don’t “work” for Verity, can I ask what you do with your life? You have bills and stuff, right?
RD: Haha. I just give those to my husband. But seriously, I’m a physical therapist, and I do home health care, so that in itself is its own ministry.

DH: Right, because loneliness and the whole shut-in epidemic is huge. What is that like, walking into someone’s home who is literally dying of loneliness?
RD: Any kind of illness causes depression. Aging causes depression, so if I can reach them in any way… Sometimes I just talk about my Church to them and it will spark a fire.

DH: Knowing about this epidemic, you feel helpless, right? We don’t know where they are actually located. We don’t know what their life is like. We don’t know if their needs are met…
RD: I just do what I can to reach them. You sort of get a gauge of their faith when you go into their house. If you see nothing religious, like a crucifix or an image of Mary, you sort of tread lightly. I will still say “God bless you”, or “I will pray for you”, but I stop there. The people I see are hurting though, and it’s a great opportunity to reach them.

Verity is holding a Golf Marathon at Pelican Preserve Country Club. September 22nd, it’s a full day of golf. Golfers will receive free lessons throughout the day. Jim Cole – who played on the PGA tour – will be there to mentor the golfers. Breakfast, lunch and dinner are served. Monetary donations are accepted, as well as Golfer Sponsorships. Visit Verity’s website for more information http://supportverity.com.

 

 

August 24, 2014 | The 23rd Times

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How am I supposed to reflect on 5 years worth of people’s stories? It’s just too much. It’s been a remarkable experience, and I’ve acquired a skill set that no school could teach. If you’ve not been around a grapevine recently, I wrote this little reflection because I’m leaving my role as Communications Director within the next few weeks. My replacement, Danielle Koleniak, begins tomorrow, and I’m to train her on…? I haven’t quite figured that out yet. I’m guessing the core function of my job here is: getting people to trust me.

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Aside from laying out the bulletin every week, graphic design, curating content from the media, fielding complaints from the uber-Holy and managing the website, the Main Thing I do is tell stories. I try to tell them in the most spiritually focused way possible, but sometimes, that’s difficult. The one thing I’ve learned about people – Christians of all types, Muslims, Hindus, even the Irish – is that every individual has their own brand of spirituality.

What a vague term, right? “Spirituality”? What does that mean? I looked it up in the dictionary and it tells us that it’s the quality or state of being concerned with religion or religious matters. Hm. Religious matters? Do they mean “God” or prayer? Or something more objective like memorizing your favorite Gospel verse?

Another definition is Sensitivity or attachment to religious values. What are religious values? Values are essentially standards of behavior, so are they referring to helping the poor? Going to Mass? Participating in a bake sale? Paying your bills on time?

I guess you could argue that values are all of these things, and that spirituality is an intangible concept that can be neither measured or judged from the outside. I’ve seen some decidedly non-spiritual people participate in the rituals of religion, and I’ve seen some people who’ve lived brash, licentious lives become humble, selfless servants of the suffering.

What I’ve learned through the people I’ve met and interviewed, is that God is acting through all of us, and the stories of our lives are our journeys away from, and back to Him. Each person has their spectrum of fatal flaws and deadly sins that they struggle with, but their willingness to admit those flaws, and seek God’s will, can be the closest thing to a measure of spirituality we can get.

I have met people with an unbelievable capacity for forgiveness. Remember the guy who was shot 6 times by a gangster in DC? That was a spiritual event in his life, one that taught him acceptance and forgiveness.

Remember the young Vietnamese man whose refugee boat was attacked by pirates twice, lived on a half cup of rice per day for a month and fled his country with not even a shirt on his back to find religious freedom in the States? He had to be open to God’s plan for his life (he didn’t really have much of a choice).

And the spouses… The spouses that deal with dementia, cancer, 1000 forms of addiction, dying children – these become the events that form the spiritual life. What can teach a person acceptance better than a loved one who commits suicide? It’s that type of powerlessness that brings people closer to the reality that we live in God’s world, and the time we spend ignoring that fact, is time spent in pain.

People are only willing to tell these stories because they trusted us. Either Father Bob or I got through to them enough that they became willing to share. They came to the idea that their humanness, or their pain, or their frailty could potentially help another person. They realized that they were already naked before God. The veil of denial had already been lifted. They could choose to withdraw into themselves and feed the monsters of self-pity and resentment, or they could acknowledge that the majority of people around them – to varying degrees – are off their rocker, and let them know they are not alone.

Our college student friend Vinny, the one who suffered with an eating disorder, didn’t tell his story because he wanted to broadcast his shame to 2000 people. He told it because it had the potential to give someone hope.

If nothing else, I’ve found that we should tell our stories because they diminish the shame and guilt we’ve spent our lives accumulating. We share and we realize that our sins are the same as other people’s. Our emotions are all the same. But more than that, our need to be loved is something that is planted in us by God, and it’s something that cannot be experienced in isolation.

When we share ourselves with other people, and when people share themselves with us, that is an act of love. Telling our stories is how we show that love, and it’s the medium through which others grow to love us. When we can tell the truth about ourselves, we can allow people into our lives – the ones God intentionally places there – and they can help us through our difficulties.

Our spiritual journey is finding out who we are – what God’s truest expression of our ideal can be – and then letting the world know who that person is. When people get to know us, they will love us, and we will love them… and that’s the stuff that matters… and that’s what the past 5 years have taught me. Thank you for telling me your stories.

I also want to extend my gratitude to the Pastoral Team and Tony Majeri. Tony basically created my job out of thin air in 2009. The “bulletin as publication” was his idea. The multimedia approach to our communication strategy was his idea. As the retired senior editor for the Chicago Tribune, I could not have gotten luckier than to have him land in our Parish. He’s proof that we never retire, God just uses us in new ways. Thank you. -DH

August 17, 2014 | The 23rd Times

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On Control | With Suzie Norfleet

Nobody wakes up in the morning and says, “Well, I’ve got options today. I think I’ll get terminal cancer.” That’s not something we want. We never want people we love to die or get sick. We want the best for people, but I have no control over what happens to my body. I have my mind and my attitude to work with.  I can accept what’s to happen and do the best I can, or I can be miserable and make everyone around me miserable too. -Susan Norfleet

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We all want control. And at times, we all think we have it. It’s natural for us to take actions that will ensure our survival, give us a certain amount of security and provide us with a reasonable amount of comfort and pleasure, but making those things the sole focus of our lives will backfire. The more control we think we have, the more disturbed we’ll be when the realities of life come knocking.

Susan Norfleet learned a long time ago that delusions of control come in many forms, and the lessons we learn regarding the nature of control can be painful. If God only gives us what we can handle, then he must have pretty high expectations of us. Her experience in Al-Anon (the 12-step program for families living with alcoholics) and her more recent cancer diagnosis have been lessons in how little control we have over the big-picture events in our lives… you know, the ones that make us who we are.

Damian: What was it like to hear your diagnosis?
Susan Norfleet: I’m very lucky to have the doctors I have, but I chose them because they are very honest and very direct. They never sugar coated anything from the get-go. I knew what I was going through and what I was facing.

DH: So what role does your faith play in your health?
SN: During this time, I was unlearning all I’d been taught about the Catholic Church by watching a lot of EWTN. So when I got to RCIA, a lot of the program already made sense. I think that I was also attracted to the thousands of years of tradition of the Catholic Church, because so much of the Old Testament is mirrored in the New. God’s plan isn’t just 2000 years old! It goes back much further. It’s reassuring and comforting to know that God’s prophecy is coming true. So of course I want to question my diagnosis and fight with it, but God has a plan for all of us… and it’s a much better plan that what we could have come up with on our own.

DH: How old were you when you realized the spiritual life is all that really matters?
SN: I think because of the way I was raised, I always knew the spiritual component of life was very important. When people are young, they put a lot of emphasis on things, and feelings and they get distracted by other people, and their emotions. I get really distraught about young people that have no one to mentor them, and no one to listen to them. When I grew up, I had a lot of support from my parents. We ate dinner together every night. We used to do laundry for the military ships on Saturday nights together. We’d laugh and carry on. So I think staying close to family is the key to a happy life. The closer you are to the ones you love, the better off you’ll be.

DH: Tell me a little about your family, and how important they were to you.
SN: My dad was the choir director at Church. Our Church would have these big parties – well, there were only about 250 members of our Church – but everyone would come. So growing up, life was really fun. I knew that you always had to be inclusive with people. I realized early on that things were not important – people were. So I’ve had faith throughout my life, but coming to RCIA laid out the tapestry of my beliefs in a way that made sense like it never had before.”
DH: What are you grateful for now that you’re a full-fledged Catholic?
SN: I can’t say enough about the beauty of the Church. I pray that people protect that beauty with vigilance because it’s the only thing that will last in this world. People’s politics come and go, but the Church gives us the greatest miracle of all – eternal life. We’re all eventually going to die in our physical form, but that only reminds me to live every minute to the fullest and love people the way God loves us.

DH: You’d mentioned you had some experience with Al-Anon?
SN: Throughout my childhood my father only drank socially. It was never a problem. He was in the laundry and dry cleaning business – and he started that business at the height of the depression in 1936. He did well after the War as most small businesses did. I had an ideal childhood. We went to Church. I was taught to be kind and loving, and to love God. I started out a Lutheran and went to a Lutheran college in upstate New York, so I had a sound liturgical background. But around the time I was 18, alcohol became a problem for my father – one that had to be dealt with. My mother had started to go to Al-Anon, and eventually got me to do the same. It was there that I realized I had all the tools I needed to solve the problems in my life – the tools that I’d gotten in my faith while growing up. I just didn’t know how to use them. And they sort of laid that out in Al-Anon. I can’t change another person. I can only change me.

DH: How did they teach you how to “deal” with your dad?
SN: I learned that I can have peace in my soul, even if all around me, life is going to hell in a handbasket. I could have a positive impact on others if I simply lived my life in a real and honest way. That was a wakeup call. I was able to take those principles into life, and later into business.

DH: How did that program help you to grow spiritually?
SN: Al-Anon and AA are based on a belief in a “higher power” (God). As long as the relationship with your higher power stays intact, you can make it through anything. The program works really well because of the mentoring. I used to go to a morning meeting where there were a lot of women. They’d complain about their husbands’ drinking. ‘You’re not going to believe what he does… etc etc. And the mentoring women would respond ‘You’ve pretty much tried everything, huh? Well maybe the person you should be focusing on is you, and how you’re going to live in this situation.’ I learned in Al-Anon that you can’t change another person – you certainly can’t control them. One of the things they always taught us was to treat the alcoholic like a boarder. If they were paying for room and board, and were content to go to their room every night to get drunk, let them do that. You don’t have to attend every fight you’re invited to. I learned that my spiritual life was my business and my peace was no one else’s responsibility.

DH: All good advice. Thanks for telling your story. We’ll be praying for you.
SN: Sincerely grateful.

August 10, 2014 | The 23rd Times

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On Prayer & Love

A REFLECTION BY RICH BYRNE
My prayer life became more active when I was introduced to contemplative or quiet prayer. I learned in new ways to pay attention to God’s Loving Presence and realize that God is always paying attention to me. Traditional prayers, such as, the Rosary, the Jesus Prayer, Lectio Divina and Centering Prayer became the basis for opening my heart even more to His wondrous abiding Love. And, as I age, I can feel this Presence is the deepening basis out of which I know, love and serve others.

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For years, I didn’t think I had much of a prayer life – merely because I just couldn’t do it – until I was introduced to a concept called “centering prayer”. A nun instructed us to repeat and concentrate on a word or a phrase, repeatedly, and when she rang the bell at the end of the 20 minutes, I came to and thought, wow, that was 20 minutes? I felt like a fish thrown back in a creek. I found for myself, prayer wasn’t just one thing. There’s a broad spectrum of using words or images or thoughts… but there’s also an entire area of prayer where you don’t use those things. You may just be in the presence of someone you love a lot and sit in silence – experiencing the presence of God. You feel the connection with the other person. You don’t have to fill the air with words. The idea behind that is “I am thoroughly loved, and I am called to love.” Whatever wakes that up in you…

When I first moved to Florida, I’d get so angry when I missed the signal lights. They’re 2 minutes long! One day I realized that, hey, I could use this as prayer time. So now I turn off the radio, sit quietly and pray. Five minutes later I’m at another 2-minute light, and so I make a habit of it throughout the day.

But you know, this concept works even better in community. A lot of people have small groups within their Church (bereavement, moms group, recovery-type meetings), and those are great because you’re all there for a common reason (ultimately to get closer to God). Then, if we’re all leading active prayer lives individually, we can get together on Sunday and have a greater experience of the Mass. We’ll have greater awareness of God, and of love.

On Love

I sort of resist the idea of defining ‘love’. In the Tao te Ching, they say if you can name it, that’s not it. If you can define it, that’s not it either. When Jesus says to love God with your whole being, and to love your neighbor as yourself – it’s a real challenge to us to come to the realization, who am I, really?

I teach a class on civic engagement at Florida Gulf Coast University, and I always put the names and symbols of the world’s religions on the board – Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, etc. Buddhists treat it a bit differently, but they all essentially profess to love God, and your neighbor as yourself. I then ask the class, ‘what is the problem here?’ And they all shout ‘The self! The self!’ So they realize that most of us just don’t love ourselves.

So for myself, love has more to do with energy – I’m in touch with the energy of God, and God with me. You’re looking at me now and I look like a solid human being, but the truth is, I’m much more space than I am solidity. When you look down to the molecules, I’m much more energy, than I am matter. So for me, I’m much more of an energy, and love is a flowing energy. It’s positive. It’s caring. It’s compassionate. It’s wise. And for all of us, somewhere in our being, we know what it is.

Teachers of emotional anatomy teach us that our deepest fears sit on top of our deepest love in the body. The Sufis would tell us that the two basic emotions are love and fear – not love and hate. So the reason we abuse ourselves and abuse other people is because we’re driven by fear, not love. So if I’m feeling fear, then I know I’m not feeling love. So if we say that ‘God is love’, what we’re really saying is that we can really trust the universe. Even when things aren’t going our way, they are going God’s way.

Even if we get a really bad diagnosis of a disease, we can know that we’re are still thoroughly loved. In fact, many times when people get a diagnosis like that, the most spiritual thing for them to realize is ‘I am not this body’.

I like to think of my body like an automobile, and think of life like I’m driving to Church. When we get to Church, we don’t think, ‘You know, I really like this car, I think I’m going to stay here instead of going inside.” You don’t do that, but in life, there will come a time when we need to drop this body. We need to realize that there will come a time when we’ll need to be in the presence of God – and I believe that God is pure love – so I work on myself in this life to be ready and open enough to experience God’s love for eternity.

August 3, 2014 | The 23rd Times

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VATICAN CITY Slowing down, being generous and fighting for peace are part of Pope Francis’ secret recipe for happiness. In an interview published Sunday in part in the Argentine weekly Viva, the pope listed his Top 10 tips for bringing greater joy to one’s life:

1. “Live and let live.” Everyone should be guided by this principle, he said, which has a similar expression in Rome with the saying, “Move forward and let others do the same.”

2. “Be giving of yourself to others.” People need to be open and generous toward others, he said, because “if you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid.”

3. “Proceed calmly” in life. The pope, who used to teach high school literature, used an image from an Argentine novel by Ricardo Guiraldes, in which the protagonist — gaucho Don Segundo Sombra — looks back on how he lived his life
He says that in his youth he was a stream full of rocks that he carried with him; as an adult, a rushing river; and in old age, he was still moving, but slowly, like a pool” of water, the pope said. He said he likes this latter image of a pool of water — to have “the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life.”

4. “A healthy sense of leisure.” The pleasures of art, literature and playing together with children have been lost, he said.
“Consumerism has brought us anxiety” and stress, causing people to lose a “healthy culture of leisure.” Their time is “swallowed up” so people can’t share it with anyone.
Even though many parents work long hours, they must set aside time to play with their children; work schedules make it “complicated, but you must do it,” he said.
Families must also turn off the TV when they sit down to eat because, even though television is useful for keeping up with the news, having it on during mealtime “doesn’t let you communicate” with each other, the pope said.

5. Sundays should be holidays. Workers should have Sundays off because “Sunday is for family,” he said.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people. “We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities they will get into drugs” and be more vulnerable to suicide, he said.
“It’s not enough to give them food,” he said. “Dignity is given to you when you can bring food home” from one’s own labor.

7. Respect and take care of nature. Environmental degradation “is one of the biggest challenges we have,” he said. “I think a question that we’re not asking ourselves is: ‘Isn’t humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature?’ “

8. Stop being negative. “Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, ‘I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down,’” the pope said. “Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy.”

9. Don’t proselytize; respect others’ beliefs. “We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyzes: ‘I am talking with you in order to persuade you,’ No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytizing,” the pope said.

10. Work for peace. “We are living in a time of many wars,” he said, and “the call for peace must be shouted. Peace sometimes gives the impression of being quiet, but it is never quiet, peace is always proactive” and dynamic.

Pope Francis also talked about the importance of helping immigrants, praising Sweden’s generosity in opening its doors to so many people, while noting anti-immigration policies show the rest of Europe “is afraid.”

He also fondly recalled the woman who helped his mother with the housework when he was growing up in Buenos Aires.

Concepcion Maria Minuto was a Sicilian immigrant, a widow and mother of two boys, who went three times a week to help the pope’s mother do laundry, since in those days it was all done by hand.

He said this hard-working, dignified woman made a big impression on the 10-year-old future pope, as she would talk to him about World War II in Italy and how they farmed in Sicily.

“She was as clever as a fox, she had every penny accounted for, she wouldn’t be cheated. She had many great qualities,” he said.
Even though his family lost touch with her when they moved, the then-Jesuit Fr. Jorge Bergoglio later sought her out and visited her for the last 10 years of her life.

“A few days before she died, she took this small medal out of her pocket, gave it to me and said: ‘I want you to have it!’ So every night, when I take it off and kiss it, and every morning when I put it back on, this woman comes to my mind.”

“She died happy, with a smile on her face and with the dignity of someone who worked. For that reason I am very sympathetic toward housecleaners and domestic workers, whose rights, all of them, should be recognized” and protected, he said. “They must never be exploited or mistreated.”

Pope Francis’ concern was underlined in his @Pontifex Twitter feed Tuesday, with the message: “May we be always more grateful for the help of domestic workers and caregivers; theirs is a precious service.